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Tuesday 30 September 2008

Raw Thoughts - September 29th

Raw Thoughts 29th September
· More good stuff from Santino on the stick. I assume Batista was allowed to laugh in the ring at Marella’s antics, but you wouldn’t blame him for not being able to keep a straight face.
· Interesting little promo from Michaels backstage about finding a partner, throwing in little teases for Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and Bret Hart. He says he went too far with the last one, and stated he would find a partner who actually likes him. Does that mean that he and Austin don’t get on? I didn’t know that.
· Throwaway match between Miz and JTG, notable only for King getting Harvard and Yale mixed up, and suggesting someone that had four prom dates had “four times more than you, Michael” Which would mean that Cole had one, which is not really an insult, just pointing out a probable fact.
· Oops. Katie and Paul Burchill get no entrance, just happen to be in the ring after the break. Not a good sign.
· Lance Cade has the most generic music ever.
· Fun eight-man tag to simply remind us of the Rey/Kane and Punk/Priceless programmes, with associated parties completing the set. PAW – Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.
· Another of those in ring promo jobs that sees constant interruptions. Last week this was fun, but doing it every week cheapens it. This didn’t really offer anything about from a minor sort of revenge for Batista and small dig by Orton at Adamle.
· I demand a Fabulous Moolah-meter next week
· I know I have a go at him all the time, but Cole just says words that don’t fit properly in sentences. Why does he keep saying “Historic 800th Raw”? What was historic about it, apart from the number? He described the main event as “legendary” before it had happened. It’s just really poor use of grammar. I hesitate to lay into him completely because I have no idea if this is him talking rubbish or whether it is being implanted into him through his cans (That’s his headset, you perverts) by another figure. Say a higher power.
· Not one of Jericho’s best promos, that. But then the standard he is aiming for is so high.
· Again, sorry to go back to the announcers, but there can’t have been many of you sat at home who didn’t guess that HBK’s partner would be Triple H. So why do Cole and King sit there like idiots saying “It can’t be” and “Oh My God”. Who else was it going to be, Marty f’n Jannetty?

Wednesday 24 September 2008

Raw Thoughts - 22nd September

Raw Thoughts 22nd September
· Jericho is awesome. I’m tempted to make it that I simply copy those three words using Control + C and simply paste it from time to time
· I love this new twist to the Orton character. Slightly tweener, very menacing, very calculating, and upsetting lots of people. Great way of using him while he is recovering.
· Michael Cole: “Orton is single-handedly responsible” when referring to disrupting the title picture. No he isn’t, it was him along with Manu, Cody and DiBiase
· “If it wasn’t for me kicking CM Punk in the skull” – why can no-one in the WWE say head? Why are things always in the ‘skull’?
· Great opening segment. I like it when Shane or someone gets involved, to carry sense through, but also to offer a surprise. You can’t use it too often, but it’s a handy tool to have.
· OK match with Punk and Rhodes. And predictable (but not in a pejorative way) run-in post match from Manu and DiBiase, with interesting save from Kofi. Punk and Kofi going for the tag titles at No Mercy?
· Nice back reference with Kane and Shane. I like it when they do that. I’m looking forward to seeing how much they reference when JBL teams with Jericho and Batista with Shawn. Both teams have faced each other in Pay Per View encounters this year. Batista and Shawn feuding started the whole Jericho thing off.
· Who the hell was that talking to Kelly Kelly Kelly backstage? More greatness from Santino backstage and then inside the ring.
· Deuce? What the....?
· Santino when pushed into the turnbuckle “Why would you do that?” Just hilarious.
· Really enjoyed the Kane/Bourne/Mysterio stuff. Thought the match was good, thought it highlighted Bourne well but kept Kane strong, and although Cole being surprised to see Mysterio was downright stupid, the kick off the springboard by Rey was a terrific spot.
· I really liked the Beth/Kelly Kelly Kelly match too. I’ll give Kelly a great deal of credit, she has improved beyond belief. She has some way to go yet, and her acting is abysmal, so she’ll never be a great character, but in the ring she is definitely getting a lot better.
· Bit of a throwaway match with Cryme Tyme and Miz and Morrison, really, but decent filler, and Cryme Tyme are very over, so it makes sense to use them where possible.
· Did Cole say that Michaels has been involved for the whole 15 years of Raw? Listen, I think Shawn is a wrestling genius right now, but he has not been Mr Reliable and been there for 15 years. He has walked out a couple of times and retired for four years. As I write this he is in the ring with Bradshaw, who I’d wager has been around for not far off the same amount of time.
· Terrific main event to cap off a very good Raw. Enjoyable action with all competitors getting their shots in and even Lance Cade getting to make the winning pin. Keeps he and Jericho despicable heels and HBK the valiant chasing Babyface. I am really starting to look forward to No Mercy.

Tuesday 16 September 2008

Raw Thoughts - September 15th

· My first thought on seeing the cage descend towards the ring t open Raw was that it devalues the title by having it on first on Raw.
· My second thought, soon after, was that if this isn’t the main event, they may have saved something special for later on.
· A world heavyweight title match, unless completely unavoidable, should not have an advert break in it. However, that may be out of WWE’s hands, so I’ll reserve criticism.
· You know what, I love Jericho and think Punk is terrific, but I wasn’t crazy about that cage match. I liked the ending, but I didn’t think the match generally lived up to my expectations.
· Interesting backstage seg – Adamle called Kelly Kelly “K2” (isn’t that a mountain? Mind you, Kelly has a couple of those) then a guy came by and introduced himself. But it sounded like Dull Segue, which seemed like a stage direction. Then it was Jericho’s turn, and once again he showed his phenomenal ability to display the right emotions.
· Jillian is a riot. Her expressions are just so over the top they are funny. She is a brilliant character.
· Her match with Candice....not so brilliant. From every source I know, Candice is a truly lovely human being. But she is not a good wrestler.
· Tommy Dreamer? How does he get on Raw? Earlier on, Matt Sydal....dah, I mean Evan Bourne (I keep going to call him Matt Borne, who played Doink) had a word with Kane. How can ECW have a talent agreement with Raw if they have one with Smackdown too? Must make Tommy feel good. “Hey Tommy, we’re promoting you to Raw this week.” “Cool, the big leagues! Are you giving me a push?” “No, we want someone to be destroyed by JBL. You are expendable.” “Oh, ok. I’ll go drink some toilet water.”
· Batista has a go at Orton, Santino, Beth and JBL whining. He says they are like politicians. Yeah, that’s right Dave. Those no-good, whining, lying, cheating politicians. No good, the bunch of them. Oh, and Smackdown Your Vote kids.
· By the way, Batista was very, very good in this promo.
· Seriously, like I said last week, I’m getting a real kick out of Charlie Haas. Good Ole JH, as he was this week. This is what Raw is supposed to be like, you know. A bit of fun here and there.
· Short win for Noble over Burchill. Don’t hold out much hope for Burchill going forward, but Layla was good here, Noble is a quite a decent hand as the sympathetic babyface, and of course Regal is terrific as the smug heel. By the way, four brits in one segment there, although I am surprised they haven’t referenced thus far that Layla is from London. Regal must be given more airtime.
· Kane v Mysterio was pretty good for what it was. It was never going to be a classic, but told a good story, and I’ll even allow the reasonably weak finish.
· Bourne and Mysterio makes for a very exciting duo. What could be even more exciting is if they get into it down the line and fight each other. That could be extra-special.
· Good build to having HBK announced as the number one contender. Get this – a logical piece of booking, since Michaels effectively beat Jericho in the match at the last PPV. The ladder match stip is also an exciting one. The biggest shame is that they have quite a short build time to the Smackdown main event, because it strikes me that Triple H v Jeff Hardy and Shawn Michaels v Chris Jericho is a good double main.
· Two small complaints. If Batista v JBL is to determine who the number one contender is, what happens if Shawn wins? Doesn’t Jericho then get a rematch because of the alleged clauses in the contracts?
· And finally, wasn’t Adamle terrible in that explanation. It went very flat thanks to his boring speech.
· Overall I enjoyed this Raw and I think the progression of storyline and character worked very well this week.

Tuesday 9 September 2008

Raw Thoughts - September 8th

Raw Thoughts
· Jericho’s promo wasn’t up to his latest standard, but was still pretty good.
· Punk v Jericho next week is a decent and sensible main event if they are not going to go with the two men in a proper programme anytime soon. They have already wrestled on TV in the last couple of months, so it’s been done, but the addition of the title will spice it up. I don’t see that it makes sense having it in a cage though. The cage is supposed to be used as a tool later in a feud when it is hotting.
· I’m also not overly happy at this point with Jericho having to wrestle the day after his exertions with Michaels and the Scramble.
· Beth v Mickie was ok, and sets up a logical Beth v Candice encounter. Candice was wearing a red corset which frankly made her look a funny shape. I can’t understand why these gorgeous women feel the need to try to make themselves stand out even more.
· Speaking of gorgeous women, the beautiful (and English!)Layla has a humourous little skit backstage with Jamie Noble, with Jillian involved. She seems sympathetic and warming to Jamie slightly. She’ll turn on him within the month. Maybe within the evening.
· Ok, ordinary match, and then we have two things I want to clear up. Firstly, Regal has been involved with Jamie for a few weeks now, and it’s only just crossed my mind that Regal could have had some fun with referring to Noble as common or poor, and that as a King, he is the true Nobleman. Secondly, the thing I wrote about 10 minutes ago about Layla turning on Noble sort of happened, but Layla sold leaving with Regal as being sort of forced into it. She almost looked hypnotised.
· JBL destroys Haas – or CHL. I’ll be honest, I get a real kick out of Charlie Haas doing these spoofs. It’s not a brand new concept, but it’s making me laugh.
· Rey talks to Grisham and explains that he had to take time off to let his body recover. And what better way to do that than to get a huge, freaking tattoo!! Cool promo at Kane, though.
· Notice how Lillian isn’t used to announcing the ECW guys? “Making THEIR way to the ring.....(realises Morrison and Miz are not together, and she doesn’t know their weight and hometown)” and just announces them singularly.
· “Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?” Err, get beaten up in a parking lot?
· Rey has lost the big Mohawk ‘do already. Maybe Miz got jealous and shaved it off?
· Evan Bourne – next X Division champion.
· Shouldn’t Bourne’s finisher be called Air Bourne?
· I like where they are going with Orton and the Second Generation-ers. (They need a name. Let’s call Gentoo – as in Generation Two, not the penguins) It gives Orton something to do, along with the inevitable Punk showdown in time. Good use of a valuable superstar.
· Nice for Manu, his first ever move on Raw was missed. Welcome, young Samoan.
· Cody, Ted and Manu best friend beat Cryme Tyme and Kofi. Manu is basically like every Samoan ever. Do they not have Samoan cruiserweights?
· Typical awesomeness from Santino (he could just show up and say Honky Donkey Man every week and I’d be happy) but I wasn’t crazy about the match. Feels tacked on.
· ‘Meh’ kind of main event with an excuse to make JBL and Batista look a little bit bad ass and to further ‘sneaky Jericho’. Funny how it’s plucky Punk and sneaky Jericho for doing much the same thing.
· Don’t JBL and Jericho hate each other? Didn’t they feud for quite some time? Didn’t they have violent matches on PPV? Didn’t they have a confrontation a few weeks ago?
· OK show, but set up for a big one next week. Should be fun.

Monday 8 September 2008

Unforgiven Live Notes

00.57am
Hang on, give me a minute. I’m just booking my holiday. Worksop, Leamington Spa.....it’s all glamour, you know.

01.00am
Ok, here we go. Unforgiven, the PPV with the fake name that brings out the pedant in me. Unforgiven is not a word, dammit. I blame Clint Eastwood. Or whoever was in Unforgiven. I haven’t time to fact check, I’m working.

01.02am
Interesting video focussed a lot of attention on Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. Maybe they are going with that as the main event. Which is cool and all, but the impact will be lessened by the fact that last month’s main event wasn’t a title match either.

01.03am
Wow, a genuine PPV first as Todd Grisham is the first voice we hear for Unforgiven. I’m pleased for Grisham and Striker that they have been pretty good in their opening weeks on ECW, and makes ECW feel like the breeding ground for announcers as well as wrestlers.

01.04am
We start with Matt Hardy and The Miz for the first section of the ECW scramble, which as you have probably gathered opens the show. They talk about The Miz being known as a chick magnet, which is where the CM of CM Punk comes from. The CM, contrary to popular belief, does not stand for “Craves Momentum”.

01.08am
We could do with a clock, here, you know folks. The commentators are talking about things happening early, but we don’t know timings.

01.10am
Shortly after Striker name checks Pat Patterson as inventing the scramble concept (presumably five men coming at regular intervals is attractive to him) Miz hits the Reality Check but Matt rolls to the outside. The commentators say how clever that was of Matt to roll away to avoid being pinned. Hang on, if he has enough energy couldn’t he just kick out?

01.11am
On the Nelson it’s Chavo, and within seconds he has rolled Miz to the outside and frog-splashed Matt to gain the first pinfall. I like that, it was a logical pin without making someone looking really weak and emphasised Chavo’s sneaky, Guerrero-patented lying, cheating and stealing.

01.14am
This match is ticking along nicely. Chavo hid a cracking rolling kick which Striker referred to as a Lyger Kick, and Miz hit a cool double cross-body. Matt nails Miz with a Side Effect and picks up a fall. Matt is interim champion.

01.16am
Big Mark (I can’t called him Mizark, can I, because Mike Mizanin is in this match) Henry is next, and the other three gang up but get dominated to begin with, Andre/Big Show style.

01.17am
Henry picks up Chavo and drops him, all of his weight crushing Chavo beneath him. Henry is interim champion. Noticeable that for the three falls so far a different man has been pinned each time.

01.19am
I’m sure it wasn’t intended, but Striker talked about Henry’s X-Factor. Which was a move and faction devised by X-Pac, Sean Waltman. Mizark, as I mentioned earlier, was a nickname for Henry coined by the Nation Parody by DX, and it was Waltman who dressed as Mizark Henry.

01.21am
Finlay, to a big ovation, is next, and is all over Henry. We now have a clock, people.

01.22am
Right, the action is quick but I have lots of points to make. Firstly Finlay clocked Henry twice with the shillelagh, while the ref’s back was turned. Can you get DQ-ed? Surely not.

Finlay and Matt get Henry out of the ring, and Finlay strikes the North Carolinian with the Celtic Cross. Everyone has been champ thus far. Finlay is temporary champ.

01.24am
Not for long, Hardy pins Miz (I think) and is now desperately preventing other pinfalls. Miz has a huge gash on his head from somewhere. This is mayhem.

01.26am
You know what, I loved that. Aside from the huge logic hole of disqualification, that was very entertaining and performed sensible with logic at frequent points. Henry was not pinned at all.

It should be said that the commentators were tremendous. Absolutely superb. They pieced the thing together, and although they had the odd slip which I picked up on, for the most part they kept it moving, and picked up their excitement towards the end. It will be interesting not just to see the contrast of the matches but also the commentary.

The crowd were well into that too, by the way.

01.30am
Their usual rip-off, dah, I mean AT&T text poll, asks whether Vickie Guererro was right to not allow Big Show into the scramble match for Smackdown. Does that mean that he will show up?

01.32am
Cody and Ted’s big adventure continues against the 1980s heel but new millennium babyfaces Cryme Tyme. I miss Repo Man, he would have got on so well with Shad and JTG.

Cole calls Rhodes and DiBiase brash and arrogant. Yeah, because Cryme Tyme as so mellow and modest aren’t they?

Sorry, I’ll leave off the commentators a bit.

01.34am
Early offence by Cryme Tyme, including big Shad sending both opponents outside with a double clothesline, then JTG being propelled in the air by his partner over the top to take out both Ted and Cody. Cody may have genuinely hurt his arm. His bump was odd.

01.44am
Another one goes above expectations. I thought this was a really fun tag match, which moved along really steadily which a neat little finish to it. Hang on a minute.......

01.46am
OK, that was odd. Ted and Cody were getting beaten up post-match but some guy came and saved them. The guy looked like a white Haku, or was Carlito on the Big Daddy V diet. Judging by the fact that he is in developmental and would fit the second generation theme, I would think that it was Afa Jr. I’d think they’d give him a name and just say he’s Afa’s boy, though.

Back to the match, I did really enjoy it. I thought both teams came off looking just that – TEAMS. Good teamwork, good character progression (especially the heels) and a finish which made Cody and Ted bigger heels but didn’t hurt Cryme Tyme.

Just one big fault – what the hell was Cody’s moonsault all about. He didn’t need to do it, logically, in the bout, and sold it like an idiot. Actually elicited a laugh from the audience.

01.50am
Footage of Shawn being taped up before a cool recap of Jericho v Shawn. If you need this recap then where have you been and why are you buying this PPV. Perhaps you are a blogger on Wrestlign who doesn’t do their job properly. (I’ll let you work out who that is)

01.51am
The unsanctioned match is next, and they are explaining it as that both guys have signed agreements stopping each man suing each other or WWE for any injuries and preventing any liability.

Still doesn’t make it unsanctioned, but we’ll let it slide.

I’m guessing this will be followed by the SD scramble, then a short divas interlude before Raw’s title match.

If you’ll excuse me, I may simply watch this one uninterrupted and report back at the end. I’m not a play-by-play guy.

02.27am
I’m frustrated beyond belief. Mostly this was very, very good, bordering on terrific. Mainly, though, I can’t stop thinking about the holes that riddled this performance that for me have blighted it.

Firstly, I want to say that I don’t blame either competitor. Shawn Michaels, an injured man don’t forget, was tremendous. Jericho not far behind. The intensity was off the charts and I actually liked the emotion of Shawn’s which I would normally find to be over the top.

Second, Michaels leaving as the man standing and Jericho down was the right thing to do. HBK needed retribution of some sort otherwise Jericho would be dominating the thing too much.

Lastly, I like the fact that this leaves the room open for this to logically carry on.

My problems.......are many.

Firstly, Lance Cade interfering just watered things down. I’d have liked to seen him either told that if he interfered he’d be suspended or for someone to put him out of commission. More on that in a minute.

Next, the match was supposed to be the culmination of both men’s hate for each other, and something beyond wrestling. The emotion was there for that, but when HBK was in that much peril, holding his eye, with a torn tricep, if we follow things through, wouldn’t Triple H have given Shawn a hand? At two on one, couldn’t Triple H have evened the score. Beyond wrestling, remember. A true friend wouldn’t let their buddy risk his career, his quality of life, like that.

Triple H could have at least taken out Cade, pre-match or during it.

I have many more things I could go into, but the next match is nearly starting and I’m still typing. I will, though, have a huge go at the decision of how to end the match. Lillian, even putting on a little more emotion herself, in the preamble said “this match can only end in pinfall or submission.” And the ref stopped it.

The ref, Marty Elias, actually made an unintentional funny during the match when he asked Cade and Jericho “What are you doing?” Err, trying to hurt the guy, Marty, you idiot.

No-one wanted it to end like, and it just made them all look stupid. Why couldn’t Michaels have suddenly become overcome by the emotion and walked to the back. That would have been far better than the ref going against the ENTIRE POINT of the unsanctioned stipulation. No skin off the ref’s nose if one man gets hurt.

So frustrating. Mostly good, but so flawed at the same time.


02.35am
Let’s catch up. Shelton and Jeff Hardy have started the Smackdown title match. No falls yet. During the break between matches we saw a very, very good backstage bit with Randy Orton meeting Cody, Ted and man we now have confirmed as son of Afa, but it seemed they called him Monya, or something similar. They explained his background.

They faced Orton and said that he now had to be impressed, but he laid into them for being too self congratulatory. I like the feel to this and it’s good to keep Orton involved in this manner.

02.37am
Ok, competitor three is joining in, and it’s Kendrick, along with big Zeke. No action to call as yet.

02.40am
Jeff picks up a pinfall over Kendrick with his new Powerbomb into a faceplant move. I recall it may have Tori’s finisher some years ago.

02.41am
Jeff tried to pin Shelton, and JR commended Hardy’s attitude. Which is doubly idiotic, because Jeff doesn’t get two ahead by getting an extra pin. It’s not an ironman match.

02.42am
Quickly after the above foolishness, Shelton hits paydirt (ridiculous name) but Kendrick breaks up the count. This actually makes sense, because Kendrick can then hit Sliced Bread (I’m not calling it The Kendrick. That’s like Shelton’s finisher being called The Benjamin, or Triple H’s being “The Helmsley”

Anyway, Kendrick is now the interim champion, a term which makes more sense than current champion, but one they seem to have abandoned.

02.45am
MVP entered a couple of minutes ago, and much like the first Scramble things are escalating. More moves being hit, with Kendrick looking particularly good. Impressive for him since this is his first time at this level. If someone had told you six months ago that Brian Kendrick (the artist formerly known as Spanky) would be starring at a PPV in a WWE Title match you’d have laughed and suggested that maybe Paul London would be UFC Heavyweight champion, then.

02.48am
Big reaction for Triple H. On one hand it could be easy to criticise Triple H for coming into this last (I sort of did in my preview) but at least it gave the other guys a chance to shine.

02.49am
With just over four minutes left Triple H pedigrees, and pins, Brian Kendrick. The Game is back in the saddle.

02.51am
With about three minutes to go, Hardy pins MVP after a Twist of Fate, and is Champeen again. Hardy takes too much of a Sliced Brian (I’ve compromised) he was supposed to avoid then gets stitched up by Triple H.

Nice little exchange here, because Triple H beat Kendrick again with a Pedigree, but while he was recovering from his exertions, Jeff hit a Swanton and went back in control.

02.53am
Hardy took Triple H to the outside and hit a plancha, leaving the other three to do an amazing tower of doom spot, initiated by Shelton.

Back in, Hardy cleaned house, hitting another Swanton, but left Triple H to pedigree MVP to get the pin with one second left. Hardy actually did a really clever thing which went unappreciated, which was that he cover Shelton, but the announcers never called it. The theory, as I saw it, was that as soon as Triple H finished his cover Hardy could get his. They didn’t call it though.

02.54am
Great stuff. This was really slow for ten minutes, but perhaps that helps because you get the slow build and the anticipation rises.

Post match Triple H and Jeff Hardy acknowledged how close they were to losing and winning respectively, and shook hands mid ring. Nice touch, except that if the two of them face-off next PPV, we’ll probably get the old ‘respect’ thing for a month and have a cold build up to a match which would be better if they had a spark. Maybe they will, we’ll see.

03.01am
More backstage stuff, and we get a great promo by Michaels which basically confirms that Jericho and he will keep going for a bit yet.

Next, Punk is interviewed by Eve (and was booed a little when he appeared) and the obligatory interruption comes from Orton. Nice to and fro before it’s Ted and ‘Fro.....and Cody, who interject. Yeah, that was a little weak, I’m sorry.

The Tag Champs plus their new buddy beat down Punk, and Kofi comes to help but to no avail. So Kofi can help Punk who he has never acknowledged on TV, but Triple H doesn’t assist Shawn. Ok then.

Orton tees off on Punk’s head with a great kick which the camera caught splendidly, and the heels leave, with Orton telling the other guys that he found those actions truly impressive.

03.05am
Back in the ring, we are several minutes into a very important segment. This audience have to get some refreshments at some point.

Maryse and Michelle are having a snoozefest of sloppy ‘wrestling’, with even a ‘boring’ chant being beyond the audience.

Michelle is so devoid of emotion, talent and charisma there is no reason to support her. Maryse, to her part, is a vaguely decent heel. Can’t wrestle though. Maryse actually wouldn’t be out of place in the Beautiful People in TNA.

03.08am
Michelle wins. Four people cheer.

03.11am
Adamle announces that after Punk was attacked he mightn’t be able to compete. He says he might have to find a suitable replacement.

Soon, Show comes out to offer Adamle his services. By the way, Adamle didn’t say if the title is still on the line if Punk doesn’t compete. It seems that it surely would be, but nothing was confirmed.

Show doesn’t talk long, but asks the fans if he should be in the scramble match. They sheer halfheartedly, and he reacts as though they went bananas. Poo Show. I love the guy, but he’s just doomed to apathy.

03.14am
Vickie is out to berate him, and is interrupted by choir music and a bunch of druids wheeling a huge coffin. Show is pissing himself laughing, which looks like overacting, which suggests SHENANIGANS to me. (I love that word, so I capitalised it.)

His celebratory attitude would work if Vickie looked freaked out, but she doesn’t. One of them has missed the pitch of this, but I don’t know which. Mind you, in indicating to her that she’ll be kicked out he raised a chuckle from me.

03.17am
Taker on the big screen. Threatening Vickie with murder. Well, he got away with killing Edge, apparently, so he might as well go for 2-0.

Show hold Vickie while Taker now approaches. I’m sure Show will nail Taker now, but let’s see. There is just too much hamming going on in the ring for there not to be a swerve. Vickie bolts but Show retrieves her. Is Show now an acolyte or something?

Taker takes an eternity to get to the ring as normal, which must be great news for CM Punk, trying to come to in the back.

03.20am
Look at the time-checks I’m going on this to see how long this is taking. Talk about padding this out.

Taker taking his hat off........

03.22am
Show attacks Taker. Wow, didn’t see that coming (note sarcasm). They just make things so bloody obvious. Show was blatantly hovering and waiting for Taker, and his overacting (both his and Vickie’s overacting, actually) ended up telegraphing this.

03.26am
Show finishes his slow, rather dull, attack on Taker. JR says that if this was a boxing match it would have been stopped. Or, Jim, a wrestling match with no rules. They get stopped too.

Vickie slaps Taker after Show held him, and then spits on him. Big Show leaves with Vickie, and completes the 375th heel turn of his WWE career.

03.28am
Segment ends. That was like 17 minutes.

03.32am
After Regal tells Adamle to look no further than him to replace Punk, we go to the ring for Batista and JBL to start the match. This is going to be an exciting five minutes............

Oh, and they flashed up and went through the rules of the match. Good Lord. You made the rules daft, then made them better, and now you can’t stop telling us. We’ve seen two scramble matches (two very good scramble matches) we know the f’n rules.

03.35am
Match (20 minute duration) starts with 25 minutes of the PPV to go by my watch.

03.42am
Dull, big man stuff so far. Kane chokeslams JBL to become interim champ just before Rey is in next. I make that 8 minutes so far, not ten.

03.45am
Rey has a huge Mohawk, but I can’t tell if it’s a Shannon Moore-like ‘do, or part of his mask outfit. Either way, Kane is owning him right now.

03.47am
No Punk...........it’s Jericho. He is selling the beating, and after a minute hasn’t hit the ring. They are well under time here.

This one has really dragged. They’ve run out of ideas. Many have said that the scramble was a good idea but three was overkill. Spot on, from what I can see.

03.49am
Three minutes on the clock, Jericho hasn’t entered yet. Still Kane as champ as we stand. Rey’s haircut is his own hair. That’s how dull the match is, I’m looking at hairstyles.

03.50am
Two to go, big moves being hit and no falls. Jericho to steal it?

03.51am
Kane gets a two count on Batista. More idiocy. 60 seconds left.

03.52am
It’s over. And our champion is............Chris Jericho. O...........K. What the hell happened there?

I don’t know if I’m happy or not. What I will say is that I like the idea that something huge happens on a PPV and people who didn’t watch go “shoot, I wish I’d seen that.”

I exchanged texts with a mate while that match was ongoing, and we listed Michaels, Christian Cage, Edge, Regal, Show, Kofi, Sid Justice, Rob Van Dam, Randy Orton and even Mike Adamle himself.

Some were legit shouts, many were just us having a joke, but we left out Jericho. I thought Orton looked likely, but in the end it was the Russo swerve – i.e. it was surprising, but made little sense. Why would Adamle select Jericho exactly?

The match was terrible, but I suppose it was never going to be great, and won’t be remembered because the finish will override the memory of the match itself.

Batista looked the most pissed off, so perhaps he is the first in line.

Looking forward to Raw. Lots to explain and clear up. Next PPV in 4 weeks. Should be interesting.


00.57am
Hang on, give me a minute. I’m just booking my holiday. Worksop, Leamington Spa.....it’s all glamour, you know.

01.00am
Ok, here we go. Unforgiven, the PPV with the fake name that brings out the pedant in me. Unforgiven is not a word, dammit. I blame Clint Eastwood. Or whoever was in Unforgiven. I haven’t time to fact check, I’m working.

01.02am
Interesting video focussed a lot of attention on Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. Maybe they are going with that as the main event. Which is cool and all, but the impact will be lessened by the fact that last month’s main event wasn’t a title match either.

01.03am
Wow, a genuine PPV first as Todd Grisham is the first voice we hear for Unforgiven. I’m pleased for Grisham and Striker that they have been pretty good in their opening weeks on ECW, and makes ECW feel like the breeding ground for announcers as well as wrestlers.

01.04am
We start with Matt Hardy and The Miz for the first section of the ECW scramble, which as you have probably gathered opens the show. They talk about The Miz being known as a chick magnet, which is where the CM of CM Punk comes from. The CM, contrary to popular belief, does not stand for “Craves Momentum”.

01.08am
We could do with a clock, here, you know folks. The commentators are talking about things happening early, but we don’t know timings.

01.10am
Shortly after Striker name checks Pat Patterson as inventing the scramble concept (presumably five men coming at regular intervals is attractive to him) Miz hits the Reality Check but Matt rolls to the outside. The commentators say how clever that was of Matt to roll away to avoid being pinned. Hang on, if he has enough energy couldn’t he just kick out?

01.11am
On the Nelson it’s Chavo, and within seconds he has rolled Miz to the outside and frog-splashed Matt to gain the first pinfall. I like that, it was a logical pin without making someone looking really weak and emphasised Chavo’s sneaky, Guerrero-patented lying, cheating and stealing.

01.14am
This match is ticking along nicely. Chavo hid a cracking rolling kick which Striker referred to as a Lyger Kick, and Miz hit a cool double cross-body. Matt nails Miz with a Side Effect and picks up a fall. Matt is interim champion.

01.16am
Big Mark (I can’t called him Mizark, can I, because Mike Mizanin is in this match) Henry is next, and the other three gang up but get dominated to begin with, Andre/Big Show style.

01.17am
Henry picks up Chavo and drops him, all of his weight crushing Chavo beneath him. Henry is interim champion. Noticeable that for the three falls so far a different man has been pinned each time.

01.19am
I’m sure it wasn’t intended, but Striker talked about Henry’s X-Factor. Which was a move and faction devised by X-Pac, Sean Waltman. Mizark, as I mentioned earlier, was a nickname for Henry coined by the Nation Parody by DX, and it was Waltman who dressed as Mizark Henry.

01.21am
Finlay, to a big ovation, is next, and is all over Henry. We now have a clock, people.

01.22am
Right, the action is quick but I have lots of points to make. Firstly Finlay clocked Henry twice with the shillelagh, while the ref’s back was turned. Can you get DQ-ed? Surely not.

Finlay and Matt get Henry out of the ring, and Finlay strikes the North Carolinian with the Celtic Cross. Everyone has been champ thus far. Finlay is temporary champ.

01.24am
Not for long, Hardy pins Miz (I think) and is now desperately preventing other pinfalls. Miz has a huge gash on his head from somewhere. This is mayhem.

01.26am
You know what, I loved that. Aside from the huge logic hole of disqualification, that was very entertaining and performed sensible with logic at frequent points. Henry was not pinned at all.

It should be said that the commentators were tremendous. Absolutely superb. They pieced the thing together, and although they had the odd slip which I picked up on, for the most part they kept it moving, and picked up their excitement towards the end. It will be interesting not just to see the contrast of the matches but also the commentary.

The crowd were well into that too, by the way.

01.30am
Their usual rip-off, dah, I mean AT&T text poll, asks whether Vickie Guererro was right to not allow Big Show into the scramble match for Smackdown. Does that mean that he will show up?

01.32am
Cody and Ted’s big adventure continues against the 1980s heel but new millennium babyfaces Cryme Tyme. I miss Repo Man, he would have got on so well with Shad and JTG.

Cole calls Rhodes and DiBiase brash and arrogant. Yeah, because Cryme Tyme as so mellow and modest aren’t they?

Sorry, I’ll leave off the commentators a bit.

01.34am
Early offence by Cryme Tyme, including big Shad sending both opponents outside with a double clothesline, then JTG being propelled in the air by his partner over the top to take out both Ted and Cody. Cody may have genuinely hurt his arm. His bump was odd.

01.44am
Another one goes above expectations. I thought this was a really fun tag match, which moved along really steadily which a neat little finish to it. Hang on a minute.......

01.46am
OK, that was odd. Ted and Cody were getting beaten up post-match but some guy came and saved them. The guy looked like a white Haku, or was Carlito on the Big Daddy V diet. Judging by the fact that he is in developmental and would fit the second generation theme, I would think that it was Afa Jr. I’d think they’d give him a name and just say he’s Afa’s boy, though.

Back to the match, I did really enjoy it. I thought both teams came off looking just that – TEAMS. Good teamwork, good character progression (especially the heels) and a finish which made Cody and Ted bigger heels but didn’t hurt Cryme Tyme.

Just one big fault – what the hell was Cody’s moonsault all about. He didn’t need to do it, logically, in the bout, and sold it like an idiot. Actually elicited a laugh from the audience.

01.50am
Footage of Shawn being taped up before a cool recap of Jericho v Shawn. If you need this recap then where have you been and why are you buying this PPV. Perhaps you are a blogger on Wrestlign who doesn’t do their job properly. (I’ll let you work out who that is)

01.51am
The unsanctioned match is next, and they are explaining it as that both guys have signed agreements stopping each man suing each other or WWE for any injuries and preventing any liability.

Still doesn’t make it unsanctioned, but we’ll let it slide.

I’m guessing this will be followed by the SD scramble, then a short divas interlude before Raw’s title match.

If you’ll excuse me, I may simply watch this one uninterrupted and report back at the end. I’m not a play-by-play guy.

02.27am
I’m frustrated beyond belief. Mostly this was very, very good, bordering on terrific. Mainly, though, I can’t stop thinking about the holes that riddled this performance that for me have blighted it.

Firstly, I want to say that I don’t blame either competitor. Shawn Michaels, an injured man don’t forget, was tremendous. Jericho not far behind. The intensity was off the charts and I actually liked the emotion of Shawn’s which I would normally find to be over the top.

Second, Michaels leaving as the man standing and Jericho down was the right thing to do. HBK needed retribution of some sort otherwise Jericho would be dominating the thing too much.

Lastly, I like the fact that this leaves the room open for this to logically carry on.

My problems.......are many.

Firstly, Lance Cade interfering just watered things down. I’d have liked to seen him either told that if he interfered he’d be suspended or for someone to put him out of commission. More on that in a minute.

Next, the match was supposed to be the culmination of both men’s hate for each other, and something beyond wrestling. The emotion was there for that, but when HBK was in that much peril, holding his eye, with a torn tricep, if we follow things through, wouldn’t Triple H have given Shawn a hand? At two on one, couldn’t Triple H have evened the score. Beyond wrestling, remember. A true friend wouldn’t let their buddy risk his career, his quality of life, like that.

Triple H could have at least taken out Cade, pre-match or during it.

I have many more things I could go into, but the next match is nearly starting and I’m still typing. I will, though, have a huge go at the decision of how to end the match. Lillian, even putting on a little more emotion herself, in the preamble said “this match can only end in pinfall or submission.” And the ref stopped it.

The ref, Marty Elias, actually made an unintentional funny during the match when he asked Cade and Jericho “What are you doing?” Err, trying to hurt the guy, Marty, you idiot.

No-one wanted it to end like, and it just made them all look stupid. Why couldn’t Michaels have suddenly become overcome by the emotion and walked to the back. That would have been far better than the ref going against the ENTIRE POINT of the unsanctioned stipulation. No skin off the ref’s nose if one man gets hurt.

So frustrating. Mostly good, but so flawed at the same time.


02.35am
Let’s catch up. Shelton and Jeff Hardy have started the Smackdown title match. No falls yet. During the break between matches we saw a very, very good backstage bit with Randy Orton meeting Cody, Ted and man we now have confirmed as son of Afa, but it seemed they called him Monya, or something similar. They explained his background.

They faced Orton and said that he now had to be impressed, but he laid into them for being too self congratulatory. I like the feel to this and it’s good to keep Orton involved in this manner.

02.37am
Ok, competitor three is joining in, and it’s Kendrick, along with big Zeke. No action to call as yet.

02.40am
Jeff picks up a pinfall over Kendrick with his new Powerbomb into a faceplant move. I recall it may have Tori’s finisher some years ago.

02.41am
Jeff tried to pin Shelton, and JR commended Hardy’s attitude. Which is doubly idiotic, because Jeff doesn’t get two ahead by getting an extra pin. It’s not an ironman match.

02.42am
Quickly after the above foolishness, Shelton hits paydirt (ridiculous name) but Kendrick breaks up the count. This actually makes sense, because Kendrick can then hit Sliced Bread (I’m not calling it The Kendrick. That’s like Shelton’s finisher being called The Benjamin, or Triple H’s being “The Helmsley”

Anyway, Kendrick is now the interim champion, a term which makes more sense than current champion, but one they seem to have abandoned.

02.45am
MVP entered a couple of minutes ago, and much like the first Scramble things are escalating. More moves being hit, with Kendrick looking particularly good. Impressive for him since this is his first time at this level. If someone had told you six months ago that Brian Kendrick (the artist formerly known as Spanky) would be starring at a PPV in a WWE Title match you’d have laughed and suggested that maybe Paul London would be UFC Heavyweight champion, then.

02.48am
Big reaction for Triple H. On one hand it could be easy to criticise Triple H for coming into this last (I sort of did in my preview) but at least it gave the other guys a chance to shine.

02.49am
With just over four minutes left Triple H pedigrees, and pins, Brian Kendrick. The Game is back in the saddle.

02.51am
With about three minutes to go, Hardy pins MVP after a Twist of Fate, and is Champeen again. Hardy takes too much of a Sliced Brian (I’ve compromised) he was supposed to avoid then gets stitched up by Triple H.

Nice little exchange here, because Triple H beat Kendrick again with a Pedigree, but while he was recovering from his exertions, Jeff hit a Swanton and went back in control.

02.53am
Hardy took Triple H to the outside and hit a plancha, leaving the other three to do an amazing tower of doom spot, initiated by Shelton.

Back in, Hardy cleaned house, hitting another Swanton, but left Triple H to pedigree MVP to get the pin with one second left. Hardy actually did a really clever thing which went unappreciated, which was that he cover Shelton, but the announcers never called it. The theory, as I saw it, was that as soon as Triple H finished his cover Hardy could get his. They didn’t call it though.

02.54am
Great stuff. This was really slow for ten minutes, but perhaps that helps because you get the slow build and the anticipation rises.

Post match Triple H and Jeff Hardy acknowledged how close they were to losing and winning respectively, and shook hands mid ring. Nice touch, except that if the two of them face-off next PPV, we’ll probably get the old ‘respect’ thing for a month and have a cold build up to a match which would be better if they had a spark. Maybe they will, we’ll see.

03.01am
More backstage stuff, and we get a great promo by Michaels which basically confirms that Jericho and he will keep going for a bit yet.

Next, Punk is interviewed by Eve (and was booed a little when he appeared) and the obligatory interruption comes from Orton. Nice to and fro before it’s Ted and ‘Fro.....and Cody, who interject. Yeah, that was a little weak, I’m sorry.

The Tag Champs plus their new buddy beat down Punk, and Kofi comes to help but to no avail. So Kofi can help Punk who he has never acknowledged on TV, but Triple H doesn’t assist Shawn. Ok then.

Orton tees off on Punk’s head with a great kick which the camera caught splendidly, and the heels leave, with Orton telling the other guys that he found those actions truly impressive.

03.05am
Back in the ring, we are several minutes into a very important segment. This audience have to get some refreshments at some point.

Maryse and Michelle are having a snoozefest of sloppy ‘wrestling’, with even a ‘boring’ chant being beyond the audience.

Michelle is so devoid of emotion, talent and charisma there is no reason to support her. Maryse, to her part, is a vaguely decent heel. Can’t wrestle though. Maryse actually wouldn’t be out of place in the Beautiful People in TNA.

03.08am
Michelle wins. Four people cheer.

03.11am
Adamle announces that after Punk was attacked he mightn’t be able to compete. He says he might have to find a suitable replacement.

Soon, Show comes out to offer Adamle his services. By the way, Adamle didn’t say if the title is still on the line if Punk doesn’t compete. It seems that it surely would be, but nothing was confirmed.

Show doesn’t talk long, but asks the fans if he should be in the scramble match. They sheer halfheartedly, and he reacts as though they went bananas. Poo Show. I love the guy, but he’s just doomed to apathy.

03.14am
Vickie is out to berate him, and is interrupted by choir music and a bunch of druids wheeling a huge coffin. Show is pissing himself laughing, which looks like overacting, which suggests SHENANIGANS to me. (I love that word, so I capitalised it.)

His celebratory attitude would work if Vickie looked freaked out, but she doesn’t. One of them has missed the pitch of this, but I don’t know which. Mind you, in indicating to her that she’ll be kicked out he raised a chuckle from me.

03.17am
Taker on the big screen. Threatening Vickie with murder. Well, he got away with killing Edge, apparently, so he might as well go for 2-0.

Show hold Vickie while Taker now approaches. I’m sure Show will nail Taker now, but let’s see. There is just too much hamming going on in the ring for there not to be a swerve. Vickie bolts but Show retrieves her. Is Show now an acolyte or something?

Taker takes an eternity to get to the ring as normal, which must be great news for CM Punk, trying to come to in the back.

03.20am
Look at the time-checks I’m going on this to see how long this is taking. Talk about padding this out.

Taker taking his hat off........

03.22am
Show attacks Taker. Wow, didn’t see that coming (note sarcasm). They just make things so bloody obvious. Show was blatantly hovering and waiting for Taker, and his overacting (both his and Vickie’s overacting, actually) ended up telegraphing this.

03.26am
Show finishes his slow, rather dull, attack on Taker. JR says that if this was a boxing match it would have been stopped. Or, Jim, a wrestling match with no rules. They get stopped too.

Vickie slaps Taker after Show held him, and then spits on him. Big Show leaves with Vickie, and completes the 375th heel turn of his WWE career.

03.28am
Segment ends. That was like 17 minutes.

03.32am
After Regal tells Adamle to look no further than him to replace Punk, we go to the ring for Batista and JBL to start the match. This is going to be an exciting five minutes............

Oh, and they flashed up and went through the rules of the match. Good Lord. You made the rules daft, then made them better, and now you can’t stop telling us. We’ve seen two scramble matches (two very good scramble matches) we know the f’n rules.

03.35am
Match (20 minute duration) starts with 25 minutes of the PPV to go by my watch.

03.42am
Dull, big man stuff so far. Kane chokeslams JBL to become interim champ just before Rey is in next. I make that 8 minutes so far, not ten.

03.45am
Rey has a huge Mohawk, but I can’t tell if it’s a Shannon Moore-like ‘do, or part of his mask outfit. Either way, Kane is owning him right now.

03.47am
No Punk...........it’s Jericho. He is selling the beating, and after a minute hasn’t hit the ring. They are well under time here.

This one has really dragged. They’ve run out of ideas. Many have said that the scramble was a good idea but three was overkill. Spot on, from what I can see.

03.49am
Three minutes on the clock, Jericho hasn’t entered yet. Still Kane as champ as we stand. Rey’s haircut is his own hair. That’s how dull the match is, I’m looking at hairstyles.

03.50am
Two to go, big moves being hit and no falls. Jericho to steal it?

03.51am
Kane gets a two count on Batista. More idiocy. 60 seconds left.

03.52am
It’s over. And our champion is............Chris Jericho. O...........K. What the hell happened there?

I don’t know if I’m happy or not. What I will say is that I like the idea that something huge happens on a PPV and people who didn’t watch go “shoot, I wish I’d seen that.”

I exchanged texts with a mate while that match was ongoing, and we listed Michaels, Christian Cage, Edge, Regal, Show, Kofi, Sid Justice, Rob Van Dam, Randy Orton and even Mike Adamle himself.

Some were legit shouts, many were just us having a joke, but we left out Jericho. I thought Orton looked likely, but in the end it was the Russo swerve – i.e. it was surprising, but made little sense. Why would Adamle select Jericho exactly?

The match was terrible, but I suppose it was never going to be great, and won’t be remembered because the finish will override the memory of the match itself.

Batista looked the most pissed off, so perhaps he is the first in line.

Looking forward to Raw. Lots to explain and clear up. Next PPV in 4 weeks. Should be interesting.

Sunday 7 September 2008

WWE Unforgiven Preview

Hey guys – time for my usual pre-PPV guesswork and moaning, and as ever I apologise for the later-than-I-intended delivery.

So then, what do you reckon? Is it going to be any good?

Frankly, on one hand it doesn’t deserve to succeed, since it’s been one of the most lazily booked build ups to a Pay Per View that I can remember.

“Welcome to the booking meeting, everyone. So we want the belt off Mark on ECW, to keep it with Paul....”

“Who, boss?”

“Paul. You know, Hunter. Triple H.”

“Oh right. He doesn’t let us call him Paul, you see. We have to call him Sir. Or Champ. And we then have to bow down to the King.”

“Right, well he’s my Son-in-Law, do as he says. Anyway Paul is champion of Smackdown and he’s staying that way. And we don’t know about Punk, so let’s put him with a bunch of people that could win, and we’ll decide on the day what happens.”

“Ok, so who shall we put in the ECW match?”

“Who cares, it’s ECW.”

“I know (sarcastic) let’s put The Miz in”

(all laugh)

“Yeah, Miz whatever. Who else is on ECW?”

“Shit, I don’t know, I don’t watch it. Erm, Matt Hardy, Chavo, Finlay.......”

“They’ll do.”

“Bourne, Ortiz, Morrison.....”

“Nah, the first three’s fine. Right, Smackdown. Don’t make it that challenging, so stick Kendrick in, he’s done ok to be fair. Err, Shelton is due a once a year mini-push. He’ll go back to stunt work by the time the Rumble comes around.”

“MVP, boss?”

“Sure, but most importantly get Hardy in there. Paul hasn’t dashed his hopes since the chamber, so it’s time he was put in his place again. Humiliate him on Smackdown a bit too, we can’t have two people the fans actually like doing well. We’ll punish them for hating John Cena. The basta.....”

“Err, boss, that’s all we need. What about the Raw one?”

“Batista, Kane.....do we have any more vaguely over big guys? Sid?”

“Yeah, Sid! Pick Sid! Sid! Sid!”

“Settle down Johnny, I don’t think we’ve actually signed him yet. So that’s Cena, Batista, Kane....”

“No boss, Cena’s hurt.”

“Book him to win anyway.”

“Err, we can’t, he really is hurt.”

“Oh, damn. Shove Rey in instead.”

“He’s also injured, and we’ve said that Kane has killed him.”

“No-one will know. So that’s Batista, Kane, Rey. We need one more.”

“Kofi?”

“No, he can’t even beat Santino. How about we dress Charlie up as Cena again?”

“Charlie says he’d rather kill himself.”

“I know, JBL! Bradshaw can do it.”

“Err, Sir, JBL is too old, immobile, not over and has no credibility. He can talk, but that’s it.”

“It’s either him or we put Adamle in the ring.”

“Ok, JBL it is.”

“Ok, I declare this meeting over.......”

“Wait, what about other matches.”

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll only promote the scrambles. Just stick Cody and Ted against the two black guys.”

“Sir, they’re called Cryme Tyme.”

“I know, dammit. I named them. I have an affinity with black people.”

“Sir, you don’t really......”

“Shut up, honky. Anyway, book those for the titles, and have Michelle face Maryse.”

“Sir, we’ve got so many great Divas now. Mickie, Beth, Jillian, Katie Lea. Candice is back and has improved. Even Kelly is starting to look plausible. Natalya is great and Victoria has credibility. Gail’s coming back, there are girls in developmental. Maria is.........actually, forget Maria. But why Michelle and Maryse?”

“Taker said so.”

“Fair enough. How about Shawn and Jericho?”

“We can’t book stuff that well. Let them sort themselves out, it’ll still be awesome. Well done guys, you just booked the Unforgiven Pay Per View.”

“Well boss, you made all the decisions, really.”

“Sure I did, but if it sucks I blame you guys. If it rules then I’m a genius. This meeting is over.”

There you go, you didn’t think you’d get a sneaky peak into the WWE booking meetings today did you?


Cryme Tyme v Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes (Tag Titles)
Should we call the champs Simply Priceless? I’m not sure. The biggest question is whether call them Tag Team champions after tonight.

I don’t see why they ought to lose the straps, since Cryme Tyme are inexplicably over even without the belts.

It depends on who is taking the other belts, really. I would think the scramble will see at least two babyface winners, and I don’t see Maryse defeating Michelle, so I’ll take Ted and Cody to retain in probably the show’s opener.

Michelle McCool w/surname v Maryse w/o surname (Oullet, by the way)
Oh, who cares?

I hate it when they suddenly get an idea that they’ll build around someone for a while, especially in the women’s division. It happened with Trish by accident, because they brought her in because she was hot, and it turned out she had personality and learned how to wrestle.

Since then, they periodically decide to do it with other divas, Candice being the obvious one, and now Michelle is getting the push as a ‘legitimate athlete’. It’s a poor choice for several reasons, because Michelle has a few decent points, but no hugely saleable ones.

She is attractive, but not the most attractive. She is athletic, but not a great wrestler. There are many better wrestling divas. She is not particularly charismatic and can’t really act.

She is (allegedly) banging The Undertaker. Go figure.

To be fair, the match she had with Natalya for the vacant title was very good, but I suspect that Natalya schooled her through it.

This will be terrible, and Michelle will win.

Next. Make it a good one


Shawn Michaels v Chris Jericho (Unsanctioned)
Now you’re talking.

This has been just so fantastic, it doesn’t really need saying. So what I’ll do is be incredibly picky and find three things wrong with the feud.

1) Shawn said to Chris, “You don’t know the meaning of the word ‘Unforgiven’” Well he wouldn’t Shawn, it is a word. Fool.

2) If they had a contract signing, how is it unsanctioned?

3) Shawn’s acting has been a little over the tops at times.

To be fair, I had to reach for that third one. This has been tremendous, with even the big eye injury and all the spilled blood not being over the top. Apart from the odd (and I do mean rare) piece of ham from HBK, it’s been special. I just prey they don’t try to go too daft with this one, if it is to be the blow off.

This time last week I would have suggested Michaels to win, since it makes sense for the babyface to get the big win to make the thing worthwhile. However, if Shawn is injured reasonably badly, then they might give the W to Jericho, and for the former Y2J to step up and face the winner of the Scramble.

To be fair, I don’t care. I’m just going to sit back, enjoy it and prey they either end one of the best angles I’ve ever seen effectively, or if they have enough about them to spin it out a little longer.

I just hope they don’t try to make it last too long and soften the effects. Part of the beauty of a great angle is not only letting it build, but knowing when to switch it off. Please, please get it right, folks.


ECW Scramble – Mark Henry (c), Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Finlay, The......Miz
This is the one fairly certain title switch I would think. I expect this to be the first Scramble, sent out there to get everyone to concentrate on the rules when you aren’t worried who wins.

Mark Henry, in an interview with my colleague Simon Rothstein at The Sun, said something about going 20 minutes, so either he is starting the match and let slip or he doesn’t know the rules.

Or I don’t know the rules.

Anyway, I’d think he will drop the belt, although I’d say there will be a late pin for whomever the champ will be.

Looking at the contenders, you’d say Miz is unlikely, and it wouldn’t really do anything for Chavo. I’d expect a babyface victory, so either Matt or Finlay fit the bill.

Both are quite over, but Finlay doesn’t need the belt, because the kids go nuts for little Hornswoggle, so I’d say that Matt gives the people the first scramble babyface win.

Smackdown Scramble – Triple H (c), Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Jeff Hardy, The Brian Kendrick
Can’t see Trips losing this one. I expect this to be the best scramble in terms of in-ring action, but probably the most predictable in terms of winner. I would although think Triple H will be the last introduced and dominate, with a late flurry from Jeff Hardy making it look like “The Charismatic Engima” will win.

I still haven’t seen anyone mention that that nickname is a TNA one yet.

Raw Scramble – CM Punk (c), Batista, JBL, Rey Mysterio, Kane
Kane and Rey and set for a programme after this, and I don’t see JBL being given a title run again, so it comes down to Punk and Batista.

You’d think that having hyped the Scrambles to be so treacherous for champions that more than one would change, but it may well be the old-fashioned build up of how difficult it will be for the champ only for them to overcome the odds. Punk’s MO of late has been to scrape a win, so I’d expect him to barely hold the title for most of the 20 minutes but to get a late fall.

Other thoughts
I think there could be a controversial fall in there somewhere. Perhaps two at the same time or one right on the bell, leading to either a title change tonight reversed on TV, a dusty finish title bait and switch or maybe a title being vacated for a forthcoming match.

Undertaker is supposed to be on the show. I think he will get attacked by either Edge or Randy Orton. Or both.

Tuesday 2 September 2008

Raw Thoughts - September 1

· Big reaction for the return of Randy Orton. I’m guessing partially because it’s his hometown, but it certainly isn’t for his theme music. That thing is horrible.
· What’s with the mood lighting? Is Orton now aligned with Kane?
· So was that a mini-spoiler, or something to put us off the scent? Orton confronting CM Punk could mean that Punk retains at least until Randy returns. Or it could be just a throwaway segment to remind us all that Orton exists.
· Cole has said Happy Labour Day three times in the opening fifteen minutes. I don’t even know what Labour Day is.
· JOHN CENA IS HERE!!! Except he isn’t, because it’s Charlie Haas doing a very passable Cena impression. His match with Kofi Kingston is short, and King and Cole laugh uproariously throughout. It’s funny, but not as much as they are making out.
· Good bit backstage with Orton firing up Rhodes and DiBiase – perhaps another tease. Remember the talk about a second/third generation faction with these three men and possibly others?
· So we have ECW superstars on Raw. The five men in the ECW scramble face off in a battle royal, but look at them. Finlay, Matt Hardy, Miz, Henry, Chavo. None of these men would be in the top 10 or so stars on Raw.
· Think about it (in no particular order) – Cena, Batista, Punk, JBL, Kane, Mysterio, Jericho, Michaels, Orton. At least nine way bigger than ECW.
· Six Diva tag action – but a very strange order in which they are introduced. Katie Lea and Jillian during the break, then babyface opponents Mickie and Kelly Squared. Next up was (back to heels) Beth, but the sextet (can’t believe King hasn’t thought of calling them a sextet before) is completed by Candice. I thought it was going to be Gail Kim.
· In seriousness, if Candice can continue her improvement before the first time she got injured, and you add her to Mickie, Katie Lea, Beth, Jillian Melina when fit again and Gail Kim when she debuts, that’s a pretty strong female roster. Kelly is improving, and over on Smackdown you have Nattie Neidhart and Victoria (don’t tell me Michelle is anything but awful, because she is, well, awful)
· The Honk-a-Meter may be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Santino is chasing the Honky Donkey Man. Classic.
· Err, Cole, if Randy Orton being on Raw was rumoured all day to appear on Raw, how was it a “huge surprise”?
· A win for the Italian Karl Pilkington is followed by a lying down trumpet celebration. Santino’s going in the Hall of Fame. He has to!
· Interesting Battle Royal for the Raw brand. Rey coming back post-match gave it a jolt and was a treat for his fans. Batista and Punk were booked cleverly, with The Animal dominating but taking a kick couple of hits to be eliminated. It didn’t make him look weak, but it did give Punk a boost by being the one to oust the big man. Kane winning, like Henry winning earlier, makes good common sense. I’d also go so far as to suggest that these two will definitely not win their respective scrambles on Sunday.
· Finally, more awesomeness from Michaels and Jericho to finish. For your homework assignment, go away and find me an example of a better “go home” interview segment. I’ll be impressed if you can produce one.
· Leaves a lot of things up in the air for Sunday. Could be a really good Pay Per View, but if the scrambles don’t work, then proceedings are hinging hugely on Jericho and Michaels coming through.